Beckett the Babysitter
by la z boy
Summary: Beckett is enlisted by Captain Gates to act as babysitter to the two children of an important witness about to testify. And all of her tough NYPD Detective resolve may not be enough to get her through a day with two kids who don't appreciate having a strange new sitter thrust upon them and are making that fact obvious to Beckett. Rating may go up.
1. Beckett the Babysitter

**A/N: Alright, so this idea randomly came to me today and I had to get this first chapter written out. **

**Full summary: Beckett is enlisted by Captain Gates to act as babysitter to the two children of an important witness about to testify. With Castle out of town at a convention, and Ryan and Esposito serving as part of the witness's protection detail, it leaves Beckett on her own to deal with the two young kids. And all of her tough NYPD Detective resolve may not be enough to get her through a day with two kids who don't appreciate having a strange new sitter thrust upon them and are making that fact obvious to Beckett in the worst possible ways.**

**Okay, so the plan is to have this story end up being around 5 or 6 chapters. But I'm still coming up with prank ideas for it (yes, Beckett will be getting pranked by these kids), so we'll see how long it is til the next update (I'm also working on another story at the moment). I already have a few ideas planned out, but I'm willing to hear any from those of you who happen to read this and get a few in mind; just PM me if you get any prank ideas. And don't be afraid to hold back. ;)**

**Also, yes - I'm planning on bringing in Castle via phone chats. **

**Anyway, for now, enjoy this introductory chapter! :)**

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Chapter 1

Beckett the Babysitter

"It's just that I'm still a little unsure about this, that's all," said Emily Downey, a middle-aged woman with blue eyes, curvy features and brown hair through which she was currently running her fingers out of slight nervousness. She was standing just inside the entrance to her spacious two-story home in Long Island, surrounded by four members of the NYPD.

Those four members were Captain Victoria Gates and Detectives Kate Beckett, Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito, and all of them had reassuring expressions on their faces.

"Mrs. Downey, I more than understand your hesitation," Gates began with a soothing tone, "but you getting on that stand and testifying today is absolutely vital. Your husband is secure at an undisclosed location, as you know, but we need to make sure your children are also safe in order to avoid any possibility of intimidation."

"Do you _really _think that could happen?" Mrs. Downey asked, fear making her voice crack.

"The Mob has a long history of getting to witnesses," Esposito informed her. "And we've learned from experience it's best to cover all options."

"Once the jury reaches its verdict, you'll have nothing to worry about," said Gates. "But until then, we're not taking any chances."

Mrs. Downey looked to Beckett, who was looking back at the mother in sympathy. "Do you have a lot of experience with children, Detective?" she asked.

"Uh, I did some babysitting as a teenager," Beckett replied with confidence, "and I remember enough from then that I can promise you that your children are in safe hands either way, Mrs. Downey."

Her words appeared to calm Mrs. Downey, as the mother let her fingers fall out of her hair. "Okay, but I still don't get why I can't tell my kids that it's a cop who's watching them."

"It's better not to worry them," Ryan spoke up. "For all intents and purposes, Detective Beckett here is just a replacement sitter filling in for their usual one."

Gates glanced down at her watch. "We have to be at the courthouse in just under an hour, so we'd better get moving. Mrs. Downey, I suggest bringing your children down to meet Detective Beckett, then we can be on our way."

"Of course, I'll be back in a minute," said Mrs. Downey before she parted company with the cops and ascended the nearby staircase.

Once she was gone, Gates turned to Ryan and Esposito. "In the meantime, why don't the two of you go and get the rest of the detail ready? We'll be out soon."

"Yes, sir," Ryan and Esposito both responded simultaneously. On their way out into the cloudy day, the two Detectives gave their partner encouraging looks, which Beckett answered with a grateful smile. This left Gates and Beckett alone.

"Detective, I realize this isn't exactly a plum assignment," Gates told one of her best employees, "but I appreciate you agreeing to it all the same."

Beckett nodded. "It's really no trouble at all, sir. Whatever I can do to help. Besides, as you pointed out, it _is _a necessary precaution."

Gates smiled with respect. "That's the kind of attitude I like to see, Detective." The sound of footsteps drifting down from upstairs drew both of their attention. "I'll leave now so you can meet the children. But make sure to keep your phone nearby at all times, because either I or Detectives Ryan and Esposito will call with updates. And, you remember the combination to the safe."

Gates gestured over at a painted picture of the New York City skyline, behind which was a safe where Beckett had stowed her weapon and badge upon arriving. Not only did it help maintain Beckett's "cover", it also kept her gun out of the kids' reach.

"Yes, sir, I do. We'll all be fine in case anything should come up."

"Good luck," said Gates with a pat on Beckett's shoulder before she exited through the front door. And just in time, too, because down the stairs came Mrs. Downey, accompanied by two boys. The one on the right wore a turquoise shirt with khaki pants while the one on the left had on a brown shirt with jeans. Like their mom, each boy had a mop of brown hair. Neither of them looked older than ten.

"Boys, this is Miss Kate Beckett. She'll be watching you today while I'm out," Mrs. Downey announced once they had reached the ground floor. "Kate, this is Brad, age eight" she said, indicating the boy in turquoise, "and this is Sean, six," she finished, touching the shoulders of the one wearing brown.

In that instant, a slight feeling of nervousness overcame Beckett as she could feel butterflies in her stomach. She'd never been alone with kids of any age in years, and the implications just now dawned on her. Nonetheless, Beckett put on a friendly smile as she bent down to look the kids in the eye.

"Hi, I'm Kate!"

Brad shot her a blank stare before looking up at his mother. "But, Mom, why can't Rachel look after us? We _love _her!" That made Beckett's smile falter slightly.

"Boys, I told you, Rachel couldn't make it today because of family issues. So, I got Kate to watch you. Don't worry, you'll like her."

"Yeah, right," Brad grumbled into his shoulder, which made Mrs. Downey shake his shoulder reprovingly.

"I know I'm not what you expected," Beckett said gently, "but I _promise _we're going to have some fun!"

"How does Mom know you?" Sean asked in a kind of tone Beckett could compare to an interrogator questioning a suspect.

"Um," stalled Beckett, quickly thinking on her feet, "she ... met me at work."

From the looks Brad and Sean were giving her, Beckett couldn't tell whether they were buying it or not.

"Okay, that's enough questions," Mrs. Downey cut in. "Be nice. Now, boys, I want you to be on your best behavior for Kate and do what she says. If my ... meeting goes well, then I should be back by dinner." Brad and Sean nodded silently and Mrs. Downey kissed each of them on the cheek. "I love you, and I'll see you later."

She left them standing in front of the stairs while Beckett straightened up.

"Thank you," Mrs. Downey added genuinely as she buttoned up her coat.

"You just go and do what you have to do," said Beckett vaguely. "We'll be waiting for you when you get back."

Mrs. Downey nodded, turned to her boys to blow them one last kiss and then stepped through the main doorway. Beckett closed the door behind her, locking it for good measure. This left the house in an uncomfortable silence, made even more uncomfortable when Beckett turned back around and noticed Brad and Sean just staring at her. Beckett considered herself very adept at reading people, but those were fully-grown people and not little kids who were currently giving her an uneasy feeling. What was it about them? Suddenly, she found herself wishing that Castle was here to lend her some help, instead of at a mystery fiction convention in North Carolina.

_Come on, Kate, you've gone up against some of the worst criminals and murderers this city has to offer. Why are two kids making you so nervous?_

"So, um, what would you guys like to do?" she asked in a conversational manner.

After what seemed like an eternity, Brad and Sean, as one, smiled widely at Beckett. But it wasn't much better than the blank looks they had already given her, because these smiles were just as unreadable.

_Maybe it would've been safer on Mrs. Downey's protection detail._


	2. Don't Turn Your Back On Them

**A/N: Just to clear this up, this is meant to take place sometime around mid-Season 5. Just in case any of you were wondering. So...onto Chapter 2!**

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**Chapter 2**

Don't Turn Your Back On Them

"Can we go play in the backyard for a while?" Brad asked in response to Beckett's question.

"Sure," Beckett replied, honestly a bit relieved at the request because it meant she'd have more time to adjust to her role in this particular assignment. "Just make sure to stay where I can see you, okay?"

Brad and Sean nodded their agreement and immediately rushed down through the main hallway, where they came out into the living room which had a set of window doors that led out onto the house's back patio. They closed the doors behind them.

Beckett was so willing to let them go off on their own partly because she'd already scanned the backyard upon her arrival and deemed it safe from any unwanted threats. If that hadn't been the case, then she would have insisted on accompanying them. Besides, the backyard was fenced in, and the entry gate had been securely locked by Beckett herself. Beckett was mainly just glad that the boys seemed to be accepting of having a new "sitter" around. But if they discovered the locked gate, then Beckett would require a good explanation. Although, Beckett could see no reason they'd want to leave.

"So far, so good," she said to herself as she slipped off her coat and hung it on a nearby coat rack. At the same time, she took her cell phone out of one of the pockets and carried it with her as she walked into the living room to double-check on Brad and Sean.

In addition to the patio doors also serving as windows, there was a regular, large one on the far wall that overlooked most of the expanse of the backyard. And through that view, Beckett could see Brad and Sean going to and fro in the middle of what was quite the cluttered mess of various toys. But rather than playing, it looked like the boys were cleaning everything up, which impressed Beckett. It showed that these two kids were apparently responsible, and if it was any indication of their everyday personalities, then Beckett could surmise that this NYPD-sanctioned babysitting job would go just fine.

She smiled in satisfaction and turned her attention to her phone, pulling up her Contacts. Beckett figured that Castle would appreciate a quick update on what she was doing, and she hoped he wasn't too busy as she called up his number and put the phone to her ear. During the few short rings, Beckett went back to the painting which concealed the secret safe.

"Heeeeello? Detective Beckett's Boy Toy speaking, how may I be of assistance?"

Beckett grinned at her boyfriend's latest in a never-ending arsenal of sarcastic quips. "Okay, from that greeting, I take it you're both alone and have time for a quick talk?"

She could practically hear the smile in his voice. "No, actually, I'm in the middle of signing books and figured my fans wouldn't mind hearing that." Castle paused for a moment and got serious. "Yes, I'm taking a break. What's up? Did I miss a murder?"

"No, New York's killers are being surprisingly respectful. They must've heard you were out of town and figured they'd wait for you to get back before committing their crimes."

"Ah, respectful indeed."

Beckett cradled her phone between her shoulder and ear while she used both hands to lift and remove the painting from the wall. She wanted to make sure the safe was fully functional, just in case. "Okay, so remember the witness in that Mob hit a couple of weeks ago?"

"Emily Downey. Yeah, of course," Castle replied. "On her way back from grocery shopping, she drops her keys in the street, but accidentally sees an informant get his brains splattered all over the inside of a car window. Why? Did something happen to her?"

"No, nothing like that," Beckett reassured as she quickly glanced over at the patio doors, which she had a clear view of from the hallway, to check and see if Brad and Sean were still occupied. They were. "It's just that her court date was moved up at the very last minute. To today. Which changed our schedule somewhat."

"So, I take it you're calling me from a police SUV at the moment while you, Ryan and Espo are escorting her to court? Are you wearing your tight bulletproof vest?"

It had become more fun for Beckett to engage in this type of banter with Castle ever since they had finally hooked up a few months ago. "Just my usual tight regular clothes that you love so much. Ryan, Espo and Gates are handling Mrs. Downey's protection detail while I'm back at her house, in charge of her kids' protection."

There was a pause at the other end of the line. When Castle's voice came back, it was dripping with amusement, as Beckett guessed it would be. "So, let me get this straight. Detective extraordinaire and badass Kate Beckett is on the job ... _babysitting._" There was another pause. "Oh, how I wish I was back already!"

"What, Castle, you don't think I can handle it?"

"No," Castle said quickly. "It's just you alone with small kids is interesting to think about, because I've never seen you in that situation."

"What are you talking about? I'm alone with _you _on a daily basis."

"Touché," replied Castle, which made Beckett smile wide.

As she did, she took the time to punch in the pass code on the safe's keypad: 0-8-1-4, which was Brad Downey's birthday, August 14th.

From Castle's end of the line, Beckett could hear another faint voice in the background. "Okay, I've gotta get back to autograph duty," he said. "But either you call me back later, or I'll call you back. Cause I'd _love _to hear how the day goes for you!"

"Don't get too excited, Castle. Brad and Sean Downey seem like very nice boys. I'm sure things won't get as out of control as you think they will."

"It never hurts to be sure. Bye. Talk to you later."

"Yeah, okay. Have fun." Castle and Beckett hung up at the same time.

Her boyfriend's jokey resolve was enough to further put Beckett's nerves at babysitting alone at ease, and she couldn't help but be thankful for it. She placed her phone in her back pocket and pulled down on the handle on the safe that allowed her to open it. The safe appeared to be working without any problems, much to Beckett's satisfaction.

On the top tray inside, above a large collection of money and jewelry pieces the Downey's used the safe for, sat Beckett's gun and badge. If all went well today, she wouldn't have to bring them out, but Beckett still felt the desire to quickly check to see that the magazine in her weapon was fully loaded. She confirmed that it was within ten seconds.

But because her view to the right was being obstructed by the safe door, Beckett couldn't tell that her actions were currently being watched.

* * *

From the moment they first laid eyes on her, there was something about Kate Beckett that just didn't sit right with Brad and Sean Downey. At first, they couldn't really tell what it was about her that rubbed them the wrong way. Who was this strange new person, and why did their Mom get her to babysit them today instead of their usual sitter, Rachel? Was there something else going on here?

They had been given an answer not long after going outside, when they happened to glance inside through the patio doors and catch Kate doing something shocking: she had opened their parents' secret safe! And she was rifling through it as if looking for something. Money, jewels?

"She's trying to rob us!" Brad whispered to Sean in surprise. Each of them were on opposite sides of the patio doors, peering in discreetly.

"I _knew _she didn't seem right!" Sean hissed back.

"She must've somehow tricked Mom into getting her to babysit us," said Brad. "Maybe Mom told her about the safe by accident and she got greedy."

"But how did she open it?"

"Most professional robbers can guess stuff like combinations," Brad replied matter-of-factly. "She must do this kind of stuff all the time!"

They saw Beckett closing the safe back up, and the boys ran back into the yard so as not to be seen themselves.

"So ... what do we do?" asked Sean worriedly. "Call the cops?"

Brad considered the option for a moment, but then shook his head. "No. They might not believe us. And even if they _did, _Kate most likely could convince them that she's just a regular babysitter. We need to come up with something else."

The two boys spent a minute in thoughtful silence. But when that minute was up, both of them looked at each other as one with expressions that indicated they were sharing a thought.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Brad asked with a grin.

"Yeah, I am," Sean said with a devious smile of his own.

"Okay, well, we should get to work!"

* * *

"Brad, Sean!" Beckett announced as she opened the patio doors an hour and a half later. "Lunchtime!"

"Coming!" they called back.

Beckett left the doors open for them and made her way into the kitchen, which was connected to the living room via an open entryway. Earlier, she had found a set of instructions left by Mrs. Downey concerning lunch. Beckett's task was to heat up some leftovers in the fridge for Brad and Sean, and help herself to some was well if she so desired. Hardly in a days' work for a Detective, but today, it _was _part of her job. Beckett was just finishing putting out the plates on the table when Brad and Sean walked in.

"Your Mom left all this for you," she informed them. "I wasn't sure what you guys would prefer, so I just heated up everything. That okay?"

"Yeah," replied Brad and Sean simultaneously. They found seats at the table so fast, Beckett assumed those had to be "their seats" whenever eating. Brad took a plate of spaghetti, while Sean claimed the barbeque chicken. That left Beckett with either leftover Chinese food or lasagna; she opted for the Chinese.

During the silence in which they all ate, the feelings of uneasiness that Beckett had upon being first left alone with Brad and Sean returned in full-force. Again, Beckett had to wonder just what it was about this situation that made her so nervous. After all, she _did _want to become a mother one day, so she had to get used to being on her own with kids.

"We're done," Brad told her a few minutes later. Beckett looked up from her own food and saw that his and Sean's plates had been wiped clean. "Can we go up and play in our rooms?"

"Yes, you may," Beckett replied, impressed at Brad's show of manners. "But could you keep your doors open, please?"

"Yeah."

And with that, Brad and Sean hopped out of their seats and scampered away upstairs.

"At least they're polite," Beckett said to herself after they'd left. It took her a few more minutes to finish her own lunch, and when she did, Beckett gathered up all the plates and took them over to the sink. She quickly rinsed them off before placing them in the dishwasher, and she was back in the living room within five more minutes, a mug of soda in her possession, which she set down on a small table also holding a lamp.

_Well, this is turning out to be very uneventful, _Beckett thought as she put a magazine she'd just finished flipping through back on the coffee table. But she reminded herself of all the stakeouts she'd been on over the years, which had been just as uneventful until something of great interest had finally happened.

After taking a quick bathroom break, Beckett had just decided to call up Castle and playfully crush his hopes of her having to deal with a handful concerning Brad and Sean when something of interest possibly reared its head.

"Kate?" she heard Brad call out from upstairs. "Can you come here for a minute?"

It was the first time Beckett had heard either Brad or Sean use her name that day, and it gave her just a dash of hope that they really had accepted her.

"Sure, I'll be right there!" she answered and headed for the stairs. Beckett climbed them in under thirty seconds and arrived at the doorway of Brad's room not long after that. She could tell it was Brad's because his name was on the door.

"What is it?" Beckett asked.

"We need your help." Brad and Sean were standing by Brad's bed. He pointed under it. "Sean was playing with a toy and he dropped it under the bed. We tried to get it out, but couldn't. We were wondering if you could try?"

Beckett smiled graciously and had to be taken by how cute Brad's request sounded. "Of course, no problem!" She stepped inside the room and got down on her knees when she was close enough to the bed. Next, she got down on her hands, too, in order to properly get a glimpse under the bed.

"Okay, yeah, I see it," she said. From what she could tell, the toy looked like a superhero action figure. "I think I can reach it." Beckett snaked her right arm underneath the bed carefully and began flexing her fingers once they were in the vicinity of the toy. As she did that, the action caused Beckett to stick her butt further and further out into the air. Unbeknownst to her, though, that's exactly what Brad and Sean wanted her to do.

"Almost got it ..." Beckett announced unknowingly.

"That's okay, no hurry," replied Brad casually as he slipped a phone out of his pocket and switched on the camera function on it. He and Sean had to restrain their giggles while Brad stood directly behind Beckett, turning the phone sideways so as to perfectly capture her entire butt in the candid photo he was taking. The fact that the body part was quite round made the situation even funnier. Brad had made sure the sound was off on the phone, so when he finally snapped the picture, there was no click to alert Beckett.

Brad showed Sean the picture and the two of them grinned widely and triumphantly.

"Just ... another ... second ..." said Beckett, still none the wiser.

"Take your time," Brad told her after putting the phone back in his pocket. "We don't mind waiting." Next, he retrieved a pair of Airsoft toy guns from their hiding place underneath his dresser. He handed one to Sean while Beckett continued to struggle to reach the toy.

Each toy weapon had already been loaded, so all that was left for Brad and Sean to do was calmly take aim, wait a moment and pull the triggers. Two BB pellets shot out from the guns and impacted against their target, Beckett's butt, within seconds.

"OW!"

Beckett jerked herself up while grabbing her rear and rubbing it where the pellets had struck it. The laughter of Brad and Sean made her turn around to see the boys waving their toy pistols.

"Excuse me!" she growled sternly. "_What _was that about?"

"Just a bit of fun!" exclaimed Sean. "Well, for us more than you." He and Brad laughed some more.

Beckett angrily got to her feet and placed her hands on her hips. "First of all, that _wasn't _funny! Secondly, guns are not for playing around with!"

"These are," Brad said innocently, holding his up.

Beckett extended both her hands. "Well, I'm confiscating them. Hand them over. Now."

Brad and Sean shared a look that made them appear defeated and then complied with Beckett's order. Beckett took the toys firmly in hand.

"Now, I'm going to put these somewhere secret, and I won't tell your Mom about this as long as you promise not to do anything like it again. Promise?" She glared pointedly at the boys.

"Promise," they mumbled together before hanging their heads low.

"Good."

With that, Beckett stormed out of the room and went to find somewhere to hide the BB guns. As she did, she couldn't help but begrudgingly think how Castle would be very amused by what had just happened to her if she told him.

After she left, though, Brad and Sean shared one more look: a plotting grin.

* * *

**So, how'd you like it? This chapter ended up just being a little bit longer than I'd planned, because originally, I was going to end it at Beckett arriving at Brad's room. But I figured I couldn't leave you guys in any more suspense about all the mayhem awaiting Beckett. ;)**

**And the offer still stands if you read this and get any prank ideas of your own, PM them to me. Not that I don't already have ideas, but I like to have a good number of options. And any that I end up really liking, there's a good chance I'll use them. ;)**


	3. The Worst Time For Pink

**A/N: Okay, this is where things start getting wilder, and also where the T rating starts to come into play.**

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**Chapter 3**

The Worst Time For Pink

In determining what the best storage space for the BB guns would be, Beckett had settled on the house safe. She would keep them in there until being informed that Gates and the team were on their way back with Mrs. Downey, and give them back then. As long as Brad and Sean kept their promise of no more trickery, then nobody else need know about the embarrassing incident just minutes earlier ... especially Castle.

After stowing away the fake weapons and securing the safe door, Beckett had to wonder what it was that had brought on the boys' little prank. Had she inadvertently done something to offend them? If so, then maybe she should make it clear that she didn't mean to? But it wasn't as if this was the first time a prank had been pulled on her in this situation. Thinking back briefly to her teenage babysitting days, Beckett could recall a few of her charges who had possessed quite the mischievous streak, and all it took to claim control in those cases had been a firm hand combined with finding common ground between her and the kids. That was most likely her best bet right now, but the problem was she didn't know much of anything about Brad and Sean Downey, so she had no idea where to begin.

She was spared by further thought on the matter when her phone rang. Beckett slipped the device out of her pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was Captain Gates, so she immediately answered. "Beckett."

"How are things going there, Detective?" Gates asked, getting right down to business like usual. "Any trouble?"

"No, nothing I can't handle, sir," Beckett replied, a statement which she believed wholeheartedly. "How about on your end? Is Mrs. Downey on the stand yet?"

Gates sighed heavily. "I'm afraid not. The recess for lunch is just wrapping up as we speak, and apparently, the Prosecution has a whole line of witnesses they brought in today. They have a strong case, and they want to make it obvious to the jury. We'll be lucky if they start questioning Mrs. Downey by late afternoon."

"And then, with this being the last day for the case, there's still the deliberation period for the jury," Beckett supplied with somewhat deflated hopes for a quick day.

"Yes, so it appears we'd all better get comfortable where we are," said Gates seriously. "We're nowhere near out of the woods yet."

"I understand, sir. But fortunately, there's been no suspicious activity to speak of." _Except for Brad and Sean shooting BB pellets at me, _Beckett thought to herself, but Gates didn't need to know that particular detail.

"That's reassuring, Detective. Let's hope it stays that way." There was a moment of silence, probably so Gates could do something menial such as check her watch. "Anyway, the recess is nearly over. I have to be getting back, but one more thing. Are the children still content?"

"Yes," Beckett answered instantly, maybe a little _too _instantly. But Gates didn't seem to pick up on it.

"Good. Well, just make sure it stays that way. Either myself or Detectives Ryan and Esposito will be getting back to you with the next significant update."

"Understood, sir. I'll be waiting."

And with that, the conversation was over. Beckett walked back into the living room, set her phone on the coffee table and was about to search around for something like a board game to possibly play with the boys when she remembered an important fact.

_My handcuffs. I forgot to hide those, too._

They were still in one of Beckett's coat pockets, and if Brad and Sean came across them for whatever reason, it would lead to awkward questions. So, Beckett abandoned her quest for common ground to share and made her way back to the coat rack in the main hallway. She located the silver restraints within seconds and was about to put them inside the safe, too, when a thought occurred to her.

_It might be easier to keep these in better reach. Somewhere that doesn't take as much time to get to._

Beckett stole a hurried glance up the staircase to make sure Brad and Sean weren't out in the open, which they weren't, and then scanned around for the type of hiding spot she was hoping for: a closet, which was located down the hallway and close to the living room.

_Perfect._

First, Beckett replaced the cuffs in the coat pocket, then she removed the coat from the rack and carried it the short distance down the hallway. With a simple twist of the doorknob, the closet was open and it only took Beckett a moment to locate an unused hanger.

The suspicious shuffle of movement from behind her happened too late for Beckett to react to it in time. While placing the hanger holding her coat back on the bar, she felt two pairs of small hands press against her lower back and upper legs, thus sending Beckett stumbling further into the narrow closet. The action was accompanied by snickers and followed by the sound of the closet door slamming shut behind her. Not to mention the click of a lock.

Total darkness, save for a few slivers of light filtering in from the edges of the door, enveloped her and it was a struggle for Beckett to properly turn around. But when she did, she wasted no time in pounding on the door.

"Hey! Let me out right now!"

"Hmmmmmmmmmm ... no!" Sean merrily said from the opposite side.

"You two are in SUCH BIG TROUBLE!" Beckett huffed, this time kicking the door. It only made her foot hurt.

"Whenever you get out, we will be," Brad replied cheekily.

"You ... you can't do this!" Beckett said pathetically. Clearly, her anger was clouding her ability to come back with a better retort.

"I think we just did!" said Sean. The sound of a high-five was audible.

"But you promised no more pranks!" Oh, how Beckett wished she had her gun right now. For the doorknob, though, not the kids. She was much more willing to use her handcuffs on them, however.

"And you seriously _fell _for that?" Brad sounded incredulous. "C'mon, Kate, don't you know about crossed fingers?" He and his brother laughed some more.

The sound was enough to make Beckett grunt in rage.

"Okay, so we're going to enjoy having the house to ourselves for a bit," Brad continued conversationally. "Don't go anywhere. Not that you _could, _anyway!"

Their laughter receded, as they no doubt went elsewhere in the house.

"Just you WAIT until I get out!" Beckett exclaimed, only to be ignored. She sighed and planted her head against the door in frustration.

_This is hardly a sign of a cop doing her job_, a little voice inside Beckett's head mocked.

With each passing minute, Beckett became angrier and angrier, which only made things worse for Brad and Sean whenever they decided to free her. She could hear them walking back and forth throughout the house, communicating in mumbles that were completely indiscernible to Beckett from inside the closet. And what's more, they were ignoring her totally, as if there weren't a grown woman currently locked in their closet. Beckett would bang on the door and shout angrily every once in a while at them, but she may as well just have been keeping silent.

Finally, Beckett got fed up with this treatment and she grabbed the doorknob, more out of annoyance than purpose, and twisted it. The action had just been meant to express her temper, so the last thing Beckett expected was for the door to open up with enough force to send her tumbling out into the hallway with a small and surprised shriek. She landed on the floor in a heap with an "Ooomph!" while laughter rang out on either side of her.

"Well ... _that _sure worked out well!" guffawed Brad. "Talk about a happy accident!"

"Hey, Kate, look at this!" Sean said excitedly.

Against her better judgment, Beckett lifted up her head and turned it around to give the six year-old a death glare. But the effect of the stare was undoubtedly lost when the downpour of water from a cup in Sean's hand hit her face.

Beckett coughed and spluttered after the liquid soaked her face and a good part of her hair. The kids, of course, laughed some more. Beckett grunted and hauled herself to her feet, resuming the hand-on-hips position.

"We thought you might've been thirsty!" Sean stated innocently.

"If you two don't march up to your rooms _right now_," Beckett snarled through gritted teeth, "and _stay _there until I tell you to come out, then I can guarantee to make sure your mother punishes you like the juvenile delinquents you are!"

That made Brad and Sean stop laughing and stare at Beckett as if she'd just offended them.

"It was just a joke, geez!" Brad muttered.

"Rooms! Now!" Beckett even pointed upstairs for emphasis.

The two boys hung their heads low again and walked in the direction of the stairs without another word. Beckett followed behind them to ensure that they followed her instructions and wasn't satisfied until she personally closed each of their doors.

_That'll show them, _she thought on her way back down.

She stopped in the bathroom for a minute and used a towel to dry off her face. Beckett next walked into the living room and scooped up her phone. Ideally, she wouldn't have chosen to relay her recent experiences to Castle, but she was so angry right now, that she needed to vent _somehow, _and that was her best option.

Beckett was about to pull up his number when the phone sprang to life of its own accord, showing a photo of Mr. Ruggedly Handsome himself due to him calling her. "Coincidences," Beckett dryly remarked to herself as she answered.

"Have I reached Beckett's Babysitting Service?"

Despite her high temper, Beckett couldn't help but crack a slight smile. "We're clearly evolving as a couple. It's like you knew I was about to call."

"Well, ESP _has _been proven -"

"Castle, as much as I love hearing your larger than life theories about the world we live in, there are other things on my mind right now." Beckett picked up the mug of soda that she left in the living room and took a long gulp. There was a prolonged pause on the other end, and Beckett had to check her phone to see if the connection dropped. "Castle? Still there?"

"Yeah, sorry, was just testing out my ESP theory over the phone." His voice took on a more serious tone. "Is what's on your mind related to your little _assignment_?"

"Yep." Beckett hesitated.

"Okay, are you gonna make me interrogate it out of you? Cause, one, I'm at a slight disadvantage with this being a phone conversation and all. And two, I'm nowhere near as skilled at that as you."

Beckett finished another sip of soda and set the mug back down. "Alright. Try to restrain yourself after I tell you what I'm about to tell you." She breathed in and out. "These boys ... are not as innocent as they appear. They just pulled a few ... well, _pranks _on me."

The sudden uptake in Castle's tone was hard to miss. "Don't take this the wrong way, Kate, but I have never been as attentive to you as I am now. I'm all ears."

Beckett rolled her eyes and pressed on in telling Castle all about what had happened to her over the past half hour.

"Not that you don't have my deepest sympathies or anything," said Castle when she was done, "but I think this may be an intriguing new aspect to bring to Nikki Heat in the next book. An NYPD Detective who gets out-tricked by little kids from time to time."

"Castle, be serious!" Beckett berated him while rubbing her forehead. "I really could use some advice here, especially from a guy who raised a little girl all by himself."

"Well, these are _boys. However ... _since you've often pointed out that I have the mind of an eight year-old on a sugar rush, maybe _that's _an angle I can help you from."

Beckett smiled widely at his suggestion. "I don't think I've ever felt so attracted to you as I do right now."

There was a muffled voice from the other end of the line that sounded like someone speaking over an intercom. A few seconds later, Castle sighed. "Tell you what. Hold that thought not only until I get back in town, but more importantly for another ... forty-five minutes to an hour. I've got this Q & A panel I'm participating in. Gee, these calls have been really ill-timed, haven't they? You think you can survive for that long?"

"I've banished them to their rooms and they can't come out unless I say so. I'll be just fine."

"Great. Talk to you again soon."

"Looking forward to it."

Just like the last time, the couple hung up simultaneously. But where Beckett had just moments ago been experiencing decidedly negative feelings, she now had a glimmer of hope, all thanks to her fantastic and ruggedly handsome boyfriend. She put her phone on the table once more and reclaimed her mug of soda, which had just a few sips left that she quickly consumed while going back into the kitchen. At the sink, she rinsed out the mug and added it to the lunch dishes now occupying the dishwasher.

Once Beckett had settled back down on the couch in the living room, with the television turned on, she slowly started to feel a sense of drowsiness gradually overtake her. For a few minutes, she fought it as best she could, but eventually it became too powerful.

_It's only the middle of the day. Why am I so sleepy?_

She had to be alert, not only for any phone call which came through, but also in case Brad and Sean tried anything. However, the allure of a short nap seemed all too appealing, and before Beckett knew it, she had laid down on the couch with her head on a pillow and was drifting off into dreamland.

Her last glimpse was of the clock mounted on the wall over the television. It read one-fifteen p.m.

* * *

The clock was the first thing Beckett saw when she re-opened her eyes. The first thing she took stock of was the time, five minutes to two. Had she really been asleep for forty minutes? What had happened in those forty minutes, though, was the more important question on Beckett's mind than why exactly she had felt the need to take a nap in the first place. Especially given the situation she was in today, falling asleep on the job was _not _a good idea when all was said and done. Beckett could only imagine what Captain Gates would say if she found out about this.

_C'mon, Kate, you're better than this! _she scolded herself.

In any case, Castle was due to call back soon, and she needed to be awake for that. Then there was the possibility of either Gates, Ryan or Esposito calling with an important update about the trial, which was even more pressing. Beckett only hoped that none of them had tried to call during her nap. With that in mind, she made to reach over for her phone.

But there was one problem.

Her arms seemed to be stuck over her head. Beckett could still move them slightly, but it felt more like they were being held in an upright position ... not by anything like a rope around her wrists, but more like ... a piece of fabric around her arms and just over her head.

When Beckett glanced down curiously at herself, she made the unfortunate discovery of what that piece of fabric was. It was her shirt. She could tell because there was nothing covering her chest, and therefore the light pink bra she was wearing at the moment.

"Oh my _God!"_

This was no doubt the devious work of Brad and Sean, but Beckett was only concerned about covering herself back up. She swung her legs hurriedly over the side of the couch and shot to her feet in a flash, but she soon discovered that was a mistake on her part. It was only after Beckett had stood up that she noticed her jeans had been purposely loosened. She had to find out the hard way, because they dropped around her ankles, thus exposing the pair of pink panties that matched the bra.

Beckett stood there shell-shocked, both pieces of her underwear clearly out in the open and her arms still held over her head by her own shirt. Her instinct to freeze on the spot ultimately proved foolish, because the sound of laughter from both in front of and behind her showed Beckett that Brad was sitting on a chair directly in front of her, obviously taking pictures of her state on a phone while Sean was right behind her doing the exact same thing.

"YOU LITTLE MONSTERS!" Beckett screamed.

"Nice pictures, Kate!" Brad exclaimed happily. "Very photogenic!"

"Nice underwear, too!" Sean added with just as much joy.

"I'll show _you_ photogenic!" Beckett snarled as she pulled her shirt back down over her head and pulled her pants back up, not even bothering to fasten them. She stepped around the coffee table and made to lunge for Brad, but found her feet knocked out from under her by something in her path.

Beckett went tumbling forward and fell on top of a footstool placed in front of another chair. She growled in anger, but before Beckett could do anything else, she felt a pair of hands yank her jeans back down. She gasped out of instinct.

Brad and Sean took more photographs and one of them even gave her a quick spank, which both offended and angered Beckett.

"Come and get us, stupid-head!" taunted Sean.

"Or would it be stupid-_butt?_" laughed Brad. He and Sean high-fived each other before they took off through the patio doors.

This left Beckett to angrily clamber to her feet, properly secure her pants around her waist this time and run after them.

_Of all the days to wear pink underwear, _she scolded herself. But Beckett was determined to let that be as far any humiliation intended for her went.


	4. Kate Stupid-Butt Beckett

**Chapter 4**

Kate "Stupid-Butt" Beckett

So far, everything was going just as Brad and Sean had planned. In all honesty, locking Beckett in the closet wasn't something premeditated, but it had afforded them the opportunity they'd needed to make sure the scales were tipped in their favor. Pranking a babysitter was a new concept to them; the boys considered themselves nice when all was said and done, and before now, they hadn't come across a babysitter who they felt deserved such treatment. But seeing Beckett rummaging around in their parents' safe had set something off in Brad and Sean, and that was a desire to not only protect their home, but also to make their parents proud by subduing the criminal they had unknowingly been left with. And Brad and Sean were willing to do whatever it took to accomplish that.

Brad and Sean had to admit, though, that brainstorming pranks had required a bit of time and consideration on their part. But in dealing with someone like Beckett, the boys had decided the best options were the more extreme options. Slipping just the right amount of sleeping medicine into Beckett's drink had been no easy task, but fortunately, it had proven successful. If taking a photo of Beckett's rear end and shooting the same body part with BB pellets before locking her in the closet had been Phase One, then mildly drugging her had only been the start of Phase Two. Now all that was left was to make sure the remainder of Phase Two went off without a hitch.

And, as they spotted Beckett running out onto the back patio in hot pursuit of them with her clothes back in place, it appeared that it _was. _There was a moment, however, when their confidence and excitement faltered slightly as they saw Beckett run back inside the house, but seconds later they noticed it was just so she could retrieve her phone, which she returned with in hand. Not that her having that would matter, anyway. In fact, it only contributed to the fun.

"Okay, get ready," Brad told his brother from their hiding place.

Sean grinned back at him and nodded.

* * *

Beckett was still fuming from the underwear incident, naturally, when she first set foot on the back patio. She was a cop, more importantly a Detective, so how could she have let herself make such an egregious error like falling asleep around boys who had already played tricks on her? As much as she was cursing herself for that, Beckett was puzzling over how someone as clever as her could be fooled by kids so easily. Getting shot in the butt with BB pellets was one thing, not to mention considerably more humiliating than getting shot by actual bullets. But it was nowhere near as humiliating as not only getting locked in a closet, but also waking up and discovering your underwear completely out in the open. And on the job, no less.

"No more pranks!" she growled to herself.

She was about to walk down the patio steps when she remembered that she left her phone in the living room. Still not wanting to be without it, Beckett hurriedly raced back inside, scooped it up and was back outside in under ten seconds. Now she was all set to go after Brad and Sean, those little brats. But there was just one problem.

As Beckett scanned the enclosed backyard, she could see no sign of the pranksters. To add to things, it was eerily quiet as well. This made Beckett's cop instincts kick in, as she had found herself in similar situations before with suspects in hiding, so she reacted as she always did and moved her hand to her hip. But this time, her palm touched only empty air rather than her gun which was usually secured in its holster.

Beckett obviously wasn't cruel enough to want to have a live weapon as her only line of defense against a couple of mischief-minded children, but she still couldn't help but resent the irony of her being unarmed in general at a time when she could've used something, _anything. _

"Come on, Kate," she muttered, trying to steel herself. "They're just kids. You can get control over just two kids."

And with that, Beckett descended the three steps leading into the backyard. As she set foot on the concrete walkway that stretched from the patio to the gate in the fence, she indeed couldn't help but be reminded of the many times she'd gone through empty rooms and alleyways, just waiting for a suspect to jump out. Just like in those cases, her eyes were trained firmly on the surroundings as she slowly walked down the pathway.

There were two big trees on the perimeter, one ahead of Beckett and the other against the far right corner. Lining the rest of the fence's perimeter were thick bushes and along with the trees, Beckett deemed those as the most opportune hiding spots for troublemaking little kids. It was just a matter of _where _exactly. In the yard itself and just along the walkway a few steps down sat a rather large blue kiddie pool, which looked big enough to fit five or six children in at once. From her point of view, though, Beckett couldn't tell if it was empty or not. _Why would it be full? _she reasoned with herself. _It's not even summer._

The fact that there was a kiddie pool in the yard at all seemed even more redundant due to there being a full-sized one not that far away. And just like the smaller one, the exact contents of this pool remained a mystery given her angle to it.

_But why wouldn't there be water in it?_

Suddenly, there was the sound of movement from somewhere behind her and Beckett whirled around to see what it was ... but there was nothing behind her, only greenery and a small pile of toys. Beckett stayed where she was for a few moments more, eyes narrowed suspiciously, and finally turned back around. Her phone was still dangling in her right hand by her leg. But when she turned, Beckett was met with a new and discouraging sight.

Brad was now standing right in front of her, seemingly coming out of nowhere. On his face was a huge and evil grin, and in his hands ... was an even bigger water gun. "Hi, Kate!" he greeted quite cheerfully.

Beckett took a quick moment to assess the situation, like she always did in the field, and realized things weren't looking good for her. But that didn't stop her from trying to negotiate.

"Brad ..." she began hesitantly, "... please put down the water gun." Beckett even went so far as to hold her hands out in front of her like a cop would for a criminal who had a gun to a hostage's head. "Remember what I said about not playing with guns?"

"You want me to _keep holding _the water gun? Okay, well, if you say so!" Brad stayed true to his mock-question and held onto his multicolored weapon, and even aimed it at Beckett. The grin never left his face.

Beckett's stomach dropped; she did _not _want to get wet! "Brad, listen," she still kept her calm and agreeable tone of voice, just like all her training had taught her to do. "You and Sean are already in enough trouble after what you two just did to me inside. Do you _really _want to add on to that? Your mother will be very, _very _upset."

Brad chuckled. "No, she won't. I think she'll be proud of us!"

Beckett raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Why exactly would she be proud? What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb! We know who you are!" In one impressively quick motion, Brad cocked the water gun, getting that much closer to spraying Beckett.

His words made Beckett freeze in shock. Had she heard him correctly? "What ... what are you talking about? My name really _is _Kate Beckett!" She paused, trying to give Brad a convincing smile. "Why would you think I'm not being honest?"

"Oh, I don't know ..." Brad sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "... it _could _be because Sean and I saw you earlier nosing around in Mom and Dad's secret safe! Isn't that right, Sean?"

"That's right!"

The voice came from behind Beckett, and she quickly noticed that young Sean had apparently followed in his brother's footsteps and appeared out of thin air. He was armed with his own large water gun, and just at Brad, he had it leveled directly at her.

Beckett darted her gaze back and forth between Brad and Sean, her face taking on genuine worry. "Now, boys ... I can explain. If you think I'm a robber or anything, I -"

"That's _exactly _what a robber would say!" interrupted Sean. "You can't trick us, Stupid-Butt!"

Beckett cringed slightly at the re-use of the "nickname" from just a few minutes ago. Was that going to be her official new designation for the rest of the day? "I'm not trying to _trick _you," she said, even though in her head she was thinking, _That's not entirely true, _"I'm just saying ... you don't ... have all the facts." She had to be careful how she chose her words.

"Then tell us," Brad said simply.

"I ... _can't," _Beckett sighed after a long pause. As much as she wanted to reveal the truth in order to free herself from more prank possibilities, Beckett was both a professional and a woman of her word, and she'd promised Captain Gates she'd keep her cop identity a secret. "But _don't you dare _spray me!"

Brad grinned again. "What's that? You _want us _to spray you?"

"No, I don't! So, don't even think -"

"Yes, she does!" exclaimed Sean jovially. "Stupid-Butt wants us to spray her!"

Beckett gnarled her teeth. "_Stop calling me that!_"

"Stupid-Butt! Stupid-Butt! She has a big butt!" Sean chanted in a sing-song voice before sticking his tongue out at Beckett.

The juvenile humor, especially set to a tune, was finally too much for Beckett. "Alright, that's it!" She turned fully towards Sean and started advancing, but Sean had been ready for this.

He pulled the trigger on his water gun and a jet of liquid burst forth from it, heading directly for Beckett. She braced herself for a second by putting her arms up in front of her, but that turned out to be the wrong move. Instead of spraying her in the chest region, Sean had been aiming considerably _lower. _Specifically, at the area which would have males especially flinching. And Beckett's reaction really wasn't any less shocked.

The stream of water impacted against her crotch region and started soaking through within seconds. Beckett had to stop in her tracks, both out of surprise and because it felt weird. With both hands in the air, she gazed down at her pants, which were getting very wet _very _fast. She was about to yell at Sean to stop when out of nowhere, came a similar sensation from behind.

This jet of water - of course - targeted her butt, and was no doubt courtesy of Brad as he took up the same task as his little brother, only from the opposite angle. The laughter from both boys rang through the air.

It took what felt like just over a minute, but Brad and Sean eventually succeeded in emptying the entire contents of their water guns onto both sides of Beckett's jeans. By the time they were done, the shell-shocked NYPD Detective was just standing there, pants darkened by the water and she was breathing heavily. It was out of a combination of the coldness of the water and her boiling feelings of anger.

"Ha ha!" Sean pointed at Beckett. "Stupid-Butt wet her pants!"

"Awww, _that's _a shame!" mocked Brad.

Sean dropped his water gun into the grass and ran past Beckett, intentionally knocking into her and making her stumble. "Come and get us!" he said on the way.

Brad let his own water gun fall to the ground and joined his brother in running away from Beckett and towards the large tree. Beckett had to spend a moment recomposing herself before she finally was able to take off after them. But with her pants being so wet, she was a bit slower than usual.

"I'M GOING TO WRING YOUR NECKS!" she threatened at the top of her lungs.

Beckett kept to the walkway during her pursuit, which in hindsight, wasn't a good idea. She had her eyes trained solely ahead of her on the tree, and nothing else around her mattered. If Beckett _had _taken the time to mind her surroundings, then she would have noticed the large "X" written in white chalk on one of the stone squares of the walkway in front of her.

Brad and Sean, however, _were _paying attention to Beckett's progress and the moment her feet touched down on the square in question, they sprung their next prank in action. Brad motioned for Sean to run across the backyard, which he did and passed Beckett in the process. Beckett stopped on top of the "X" square so she could briefly track Sean, but her attention was soon diverted by something else.

"Hey!" Brad yelled out, which made Beckett look his way.

In the time Beckett had been distracted by Sean, Brad had gone over to where a big homemade slingshot had been erected by the boys earlier in the day and had loaded it with his "special ammunition", with the slingshot already pulled back into a firing position.

"Heads up!" Brad announced as he let go of the slingshot's contents and launched it into the air.

While he watched the action with the biggest smile, Beckett watched it with a grimace. But he soon abandoned observing so he could take up his next post.

What had been lobbed into the air was a balloon, and as it plummeted down towards her, Beckett could tell that it had been filled with something ... however, whatever it was, it definitely _wasn't _water. In futility, and just a bit of fear, Beckett let her phone fall into the grass and angled up her hands in front of her in an attempt to catch the balloon, but by this point, there was no stopping its impact. It exploded against Beckett seconds later, making her squint in disgust as a burst of baked beans slammed against her upper half and turned her tan shirt into a chest-plate of icky brown slop. A good portion also splattered on her face and got into her hair.

At first, Beckett merely sighed in exasperation but as she wiped some of the brown, drippy mess from her eyes, the sigh turned into a guttural grunt. There she was, her pants completely soaked through with water and her face and most of her shirt slathered with baked beans. Obviously, she must have looked quite ridiculous, because Brad and Sean's taunting laughter filled her ears, followed by camera clicks as the boys snapped their newest embarrassing pictures of Beckett.

"I'm going to KI-"

"Hey, Stupid-Butt! Look out!"

Sean's outcry caused Beckett to glance back in his direction, but then another sound filled her ears. It sounded like ... plastic wheels rolling on stone. Sure enough, a skateboard was advancing very fast down the walkway towards her, forcing Beckett to take a step back in order to avoid it. However, that step back was just her latest in the series of bad decisions over the last couple of minutes.

Because directly behind her legs, Beckett discovered there was a length of water hose that had been pulled tight, tight enough so that when Beckett stepped back to avoid the skateboard, it made her trip and lose her balance. She twisted fully around as she fell, and in her path of trajectory was the giant kiddie pool, and in the kiddie pool was the largest collection of baked beans that Beckett had ever seen. Most of her body fit into the pool with ease, due to the size, so Beckett ended up being mostly submerged in the slop she had gotten a "taste" of just a few seconds before. She didn't even bother wondering how Brad and Sean managed to fill an entire kiddie pool with baked beans, she just sank further down into the mess in exhaustion.

Brad and Sean wasted no time in rushing up to the scene of the crime, camera phones held firmly in hand, as they laughed and snapped away.

"What do you know?" Brad remarked in triumph. "It worked! Just like in _Cheaper By The Dozen!_" He high-fived Sean.

"Stupid-Butt really _does _look like a swamp monster, doesn't she?" asked Sean in utter delight.

Beckett didn't even care about yelling at them. Right now, all she cared about was washing off in the shower. She attempted to lift herself up out of the pool, but slipped on the sides and fell back in, which made the boys laugh even harder.

"Oh, look at what I found!" said Brad. He had picked up Beckett's phone from the grass and was holding it up in the air.

That jolted Beckett out of her stupor. "Give that back!"

"You'll have to come and get it, Stupid-Butt!" Sean chuckled before taking off with Brad.

"I _told _you ..." Beckett grumbled, "_stop calling me that!" _Summoning all the strength that she could, Beckett jumped up and out of the pool and tore after her tormentors.

If she thought her wet pants had weighed her down earlier, then that was nothing compared to how heavy the layer of baked beans felt as Beckett ran all over the yard while chasing after Brad and Sean. She was mainly still in shock that she _had _fallen into a kiddie pool of baked beans in the first place; despite the food being all over her, it still felt like a weird fantasy. But Beckett _was _covered in baked beans, and she had a sneaking suspicion that this wasn't going to be the worst of it for today.

By now, Brad and Sean were leading Beckett in circles, and she was starting to get worn out when she usually was just getting started. She chalked that up to the after-effects of being pranked three times in a row. But she didn't give up; she pressed on.

"What's the matter, Stupid-Butt?" Sean asked from his and Brad's current position in front of the kiddie pool. "Too slow?" Now _he _was the one waving Beckett's phone tauntingly.

"How's _this _for too slow?" Beckett snarled as she lunged for them.

She did so without hesitation, but mostly without thinking. If Beckett _had _taken the time to briefly assess the situation, then maybe she would have anticipated Brad and Sean sticking their legs out at the last minute. But because she didn't, that meant Beckett couldn't avoid tripping over their legs and thus go plummeting back, face-first, into the pool of baked beans with a sizeable splash.

_How did I fall for that? _she accused herself as she lifted her head up from the mess.

It seemed like Brad and Sean were thinking the same thing, too. "Wow, she _must _be a Stupid-Butt if she fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book!" concluded Brad with a hearty laugh.

_Maybe I am, _Beckett thought in humiliation. _Maybe that's me, Kate "Stupid-Butt" Beckett. What the hell am I doing babysitting? _She raised her head out of the baked beans to see Brad standing in front of her, taking the latest round of pictures.

"Hold it right there, that's perfect!" he said with the enthusiasm of a professional photographer. Brad lowered his phone and looked behind his bedraggled babysitter. "Sean's getting a good angle, too!"

Beckett knew she didn't need to glance around behind her to see what he meant, but just the same, she did and discovered the younger of the two devils snapping photos of what was no doubt now his favorite body part of hers, making her sigh.

When he was done, Sean walked by the pool and gave Beckett the type of butt pat that football players usually gave each other. "Tough luck. Oh by the way, here you go." He dropped Beckett's phone by the pool and accompanied Brad back into the house.

And it was at that moment Beckett's phone started ringing. After carefully extricating herself from the baked beans, she picked it up and checked to see who was calling. Of course, it was Castle.

Beckett sighed heavily and answered. "Castle," she said rather forcefully.

"Um, no, I believe that's _my _line," Castle quipped. "Soooo ... is this a bad time?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Without any more preamble, Beckett launched into a direct explanation of everything that happened to her since his last call.

"So, let me get this straight," said Castle once Beckett had finished. "At this very moment, you're talking to me while covered from head to toe in baked beans? Man, why can't I be there for the good stuff? Maybe we could experiment a little with stuff like that in the bedroom -"

"I didn't realize my pain was your pleasure!" Beckett cut in sharply.

"I'm _joking, _Kate. Listen, do you still want those tips from me?"

"Castle, I'm covered in baked beans, what do _you _think?" Beckett looked ahead at the patio doors, behind which stood Brad and Sean, each of whom were making faces at her through the glass. "You know what? Why don't we have this conversation at a time when I don't feel like The Creature From the Brown Lagoon? I'll call you back when I look, and _feel, _like myself again."

"Hang in there!" Castle managed to say before Beckett disconnected the call.

After taking a moment to absorb her current appearance, Beckett stomped towards the patio with every intention of booking the boys for unlawful conduct.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed Chapter 4! It sure was a lot of fun to write!**

**Speaking of that fun, I'm enjoying writing this story so much that recently, the idea of writing ANOTHER prank story with Beckett occurred to me. As of now, I have a few possible ideas for a new one: A. A possible sequel to this story, B. An AU fic where Beckett is engaged to Castle and finally spends some "quality time" with Alexis, who's much younger for story purposes and doesn't like the idea of getting a new stepmom or C. Another AU fic where Beckett is hired as a nanny to the troublemaking young Alexis.**

**So, those are the ideas I have at the moment, but I just wanted to gauge interest and see if any one of you reading this story would want to read another like it. If you do, say what idea you like the best - or any idea you might think up yourself - and I'll see which one seems to have the most interest. I'll be appreciative if you do. :) Thanks.**


	5. When Things Get Messy

**A/N: Okay, I felt like I didn't need to say this before now, but given the nature of this story and genre, logic isn't all that important. Yes, I realize how smart Beckett usually is, but to make a prank story like this work, the "victims" need to have a small amount of...naivete. But I've still been trying to stay as true to her character as possible. But most of you seem to get that, so thanks for your support. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

When Things Get Messy

Beckett wasn't all that surprised when she reached the doors, tried to open them and was met with the resistance that signified them being locked. She sighed deeply. Her next order of business was glaring intensely through the glass panes at Brad and Sean, both of whom were smiling at her with smug satisfaction.

"Let me in!" Beckett barked.

"Since you're so good at getting into places where you're not welcome," Brad replied evenly, "why don't _you _figure out a way to let yourself in!"

The boys laughed and raced off to somewhere inside the house, leaving Beckett alone on the patio. Her anger bubbled up inside her for a few moments before it was released by way of Beckett screaming in frustration and pounding her dirty hands on the doors, leaving behind residue. She spent a short while just standing there, gazing heatedly into the house and weighing her options. At last, Beckett decided to play along with Brad and Sean's little "game" and find an alternate entrance.

She stepped back a few feet and looked around the back exterior of the house. Her Detective reasoning told Beckett that it was most likely that the kids would have locked any windows on ground level on this side, to make it more of a challenge, so that idea was off the table. And even if the second-floor windows were unlocked, another quick scan of the backyard showed Beckett that there was nothing she could possibly use to get herself up that high. The outer terraces of the windows didn't look wide enough to support climbing, either. That meant that Beckett's best alternative was going around to the front.

At this point, she cared more about regaining control of the household than she did any sense of dignity, so Beckett knew she had to make her way around the house. The only issue there was that she herself had already locked the gate in the fence that allowed access to the front yard from where she was. But it wasn't like she hadn't scaled a fence before.

Beckett let determination fill her up and went back down into the yard. She walked towards the gate, a door built into the wooden fence, and regarded the white chalk "X" along with the pool of baked beans with disdain as she passed them. The glance also served to make Beckett more alert for anything that Brad and Sean may have left behind in their wake. Such as the line of string that was tied around the base of the nearby tree and stretched across Beckett's path, ending at one of the patio's supporting legs. If she hadn't noticed it, then it would've been quite the effective little trap.

"Nice try," remarked Beckett triumphantly, "but it's not going to be that easy anymore."

She took a giant step over the string and turned around in the process so that she could look back on the trap with a sense of accomplishment.

But Beckett soon found out that her success was to only be short-lived.

There may have been nothing to properly hide the string meant to trip her up, but Beckett realized then just what sort of clever masterminds of mischief she was up against. A few steps further along the walkway, there was a portion obstructed by thick and low-hanging branches of trees planted in the Downeys' garden. To anyone like Beckett who happened to travel along the walkway, that meant their view of that stretch of walking space was all but invisible. So when Beckett's left foot touched down on the top of the skateboard from earlier, she was obviously taken aback.

"Whoa! "WHOA!"

Beckett flailed her arms wildly after the movement of the skateboard's wheels led to a momentum which propelled the object forward down the remainder of the walkway with Beckett in tow. During the roll, Beckett's right foot landed on the skateboard, causing her to be turned at an angle as the distance closed between her and the fence. She tried to brace herself, but the eventual impact she made was enough to throw Beckett back into the grass on her back. As she lay there, Beckett couldn't help but think all that was missing from the sight were a cartoon bubble that said CRASH! the minute she had hit the fence and a circle of animated birds chasing each other over her head while she lay there regaining her bearings.

She eventually sat up, rubbing her forehead, which was thick with baked bean sauce, and grunted. "What's _with me _today?" Beckett wondered aloud.

Despite that little "speed bump", Beckett was nonetheless where she wanted to be. She quickly looked around for her phone, which had been dropped, and discovered it leaning against the base of the fence in front of her. Beckett leaned over, scooped it up and hauled herself to her feet, where she then sized up the fence..

It appeared to be no taller than the ones she'd hopped over in the past while chasing down a fleeing suspect, so Beckett reasoned she could scale it without breaking a sweat. Her first task was to set her phone safely down in the jutting-out edge near the top so she could have both hands free. After she did that, Beckett reached up and grabbed hold of the fence's tips while angling her foot against the bottom. She let out a single, slow breath before she pulled her entire body up while turning in midair so that she could rest her bottom on the thin top; each of her legs now hung over opposite sides of the fence while she remained perched precariously between the backyard and the side-yard.

Glancing down to the other side of the fence, the first - and main - thing Beckett saw was a second kiddie pool, this one green instead of blue. But similar to the one Brad and Sean had used for the backyard antics, this pool was filled with something that wasn't water. From the color and consistency, Beckett could make out that the new booby trap substance was tomato sauce. It seemed all the time she'd spent out cold on the couch had afforded the boys quite the opportunity to set up a lot of traps.

She rolled her eyes while still marveling slightly at it. "Where did they _get _all this stuff?"

Beckett sighed and carefully leaned forward just enough so that she could reach out and grab her phone from its resting place. As a detective, she had to account for many probabilities in any given situation, but being covered in baked beans as a result of a prank wasn't a situation Beckett had found herself in before now. So the fact that the sloppy food covering her made keeping her balance on top of the fence more difficult due to slippery-ness genuinely didn't occur to Beckett at first. But it did when she slid involuntarily over the side and down into the awaiting pool of tomato sauce, phone in hand.

She landed in the tomato sauce with a plop, followed by a groan. Beckett rolled over onto her back, red now mixing with brown, but not making much of a difference in texture except for adding to it. But at least the sauce's smell was a bit more tolerable than that of the baked beans.

"This is _ridiculous!_" Beckett seethed before sitting up. She flecked some residual sauce off of her fingers and got to her feet. Miraculously, her phone had managed to avoid getting messy this entire time, something which Beckett could at least take a little solace in. But she had to make sure to keep it held out away enough from her so as not to drip too much on it.

Beckett stayed close to the side of the house as she made her way around to the front. To her left were two more windows, both providing views into the den of the Downey house, and even though her rational thoughts told her otherwise, Beckett couldn't resist quickly trying to slide them up. Of course, they didn't budge. And as she gazed inside with a mixture of anger and desperation, Beckett spotted Brad and Sean laughing and waving at her.

"Why don't you just come to the front door, Stupid-Butt?" Sean asked pointedly. "I mean, duh!"

Rather than offer a venomous retort, Beckett simply huffed and continued her way around the house. When she reached the front yard, she hung back by the corner and peered around the edge to see if there were any obvious signs of booby traps. From what Beckett could tell, there was nothing lying in wait for her. In fact, the front yard was practically free of anything; no kiddie pools, no skateboards and no scattered toys. All that was left was to find a way back in.

Of course, that entailed going fully out into the open, where any curious neighbors' eyes would no doubt find Beckett in her current sloppy fashion sense, but now was no time to be vain. Now was the time to take charge.

She stepped out in full view of any passing cars or neighbors, but still kept close to the house. After a few paces, Beckett found herself directly by one of the front windows. Not that she was expecting anything different from her previous effort, but she nonetheless attempted to push the window up; again, to no avail.

"_That _won't work, Stupid-Butt!"

The voice came from above Beckett, and she reflexively looked there. Brad and Sean were leaning out the second floor window immediately above the one Beckett was unsuccessfully trying to get through and smiling those unsettling mischievous smiles. Perched on the window ledge between them was a large white bucket that looked like one a janitor would use. The contents of the bucket, though, were dark.

"And as a penalty for your mistake," said Brad with glee, "you must suffer the consequence!"

Beckett reflexively took a step back, but it was too late. Brad and Sean had already tipped the bucket over and showered their victim with what was inside. Said contents turned out to be chocolate pudding, which cascaded all over Beckett and congealed with the first two layers of mess on her. She had closed her eyes the instant the pudding came in contact with her, and when she re-opened them, Beckett saw Brad and Sean clicking away yet again with their camera phones.

"What's with all the pictures?!" she yelled up at them.

"That's for _us _to know ..." Brad began.

"And _you _to find out!" Sean completed.

All Beckett could do was let out another frustrated grunt.

"If you want in so bad," stated Brad with a tone of helpfulness to his voice, "why don't you just try the doorbell?" He and his brother chuckled heartily as they leaned back into the house and shut the upper window.

_Yeah right, _Beckett's inner voice snorted. _Knowing them, they probably electrified it or something. _But as a few minutes went by and Beckett kept standing there, letting the baked beans and tomato sauce and chocolate pudding morph into the ickiest second skin imaginable, she honestly couldn't see any other alternative to getting back into the house other than the front door. _Do I even dare, though? _Surely, Brad and Sean had sabotaged it in _some _way ... but did Beckett see any secret entrances into the house? No, of course not.

So she gritted her teeth and trudged over to the front steps, stomping up them with as much force as possible and coming to a stop at the main entrance. Beckett spent a few minutes in silent contemplation, trying to figure out all the various ways the boys could have sabotaged the door. She eventually let her hand cautiously grab the knob, half-expecting it to be searing hot. But it was as normal as any other locked doorknob. Beckett's eyes then settled on the doorbell. A bit of inner deliberation led Beckett to retrieve a twig from the yard and use it to push the small button. The only thing that happened as a result was the buzzing sound that came with every other doorbell.

"Coming, just a minute!" rang out the cheerfully casual voice of Brad from behind the door.

Beckett dropped the twig and waited in silent anger as she heard shuffling footsteps approach from the opposite side of the door. A few seconds later, it opened, revealing Brad and Sean. Their faces lit up in fake surprise.

"Stupid-Butt!" Sean declared in the same way as a person greeting a long-lost friend. "So good to see you again!"

"When did you get here? And whatever are you doing covered in all that gunk?" Brad's tone was similar to that of a concerned parent.

Instead of playing along, Beckett stormed inside and slammed the door before the boys could do anything about it. She whirled around and advanced upon them with a fiery expression that would have been scarier if she hadn't looked a right mess. Beckett didn't stop until Brad and Sean's backs had been pushed up against the wall underneath the staircase.

"_Let's get this straightened out RIGHT NOW!" _Beckett spat while jabbing a brown-red finger at the boys. "You think I'm a robber who talked her way into your house. Well, you're DEAD WRONG! I'm the FARTHEST thing from a robber there is! _And _it so happens that your mother gave me _permission _to use the safe!" Beckett had chosen her words carefully enough so that everything she said, no matter how vague, was the truth.

Brad and Sean had gone from looking triumphant to terrified in the time it took Beckett to vent her anger. They weren't so scared because of the look she was giving them, which could have melted all the goop off of her person, it was more that they were taken aback by the sudden outburst, almost as if that had been the very last reaction they expected her to have. They just stood there staring at Beckett as drops of the three coatings of muck accumulated at her feet. Finally, Brad was able to work up enough courage to speak again.

"Alright ... _prove it._"

"What?" Beckett straightened up. "I don't have to prove anything to you!"

"Actually, you kind of _do_," said Brad as he glanced at Sean. "Tell you what, we'll make you a deal. What did Mom say you could use the safe for?"

"My ... purse," replied Beckett, saying the first thing that came to mind and saying it in the most convincing tone she could muster. "I have some very valuable things in there." _Seriously? You're lying to them NOW, of all times?_

"Okay. Well, if your purse really is in the safe like you say, then all you have to do is open it and show us. Once we see it, then we'll stop with the pranks and we'll even clean up all the mess we made. Plus, we'll take whatever punishment you give us. Seems fair, right, Kate?"

Beckett nodded. "Deal," she bluffed. _Oh, crap! The ONE time a purse would've come in handy!_

"Well, go on," prompted Sean. "Show us."

Beckett turned around and headed towards the safe behind the painting with a slight knot in her stomach when a thought suddenly occurred to her. _Wait, a badge is much better proof than a purse! _And seeing that they had pulled all these pranks on a cop might just set Brad and Sean straight even further. But then Beckett remembered just one small detail.

She wasn't supposed to reveal her true identity, no matter the circumstances. Even if it sounded foolish, Beckett was someone determined to do her job right, and if that meant taking pranks for the team, so be it, as much as it annoyed her.

_Damn it!_

This came to mind after the painting had been removed and the safe revealed, leaving Beckett to improvise once the combination had been entered. In the same motion she opened the safe, she used her other arm to push aside and thus conceal her gun and badge from view. Reluctantly, Beckett moved to let the boys see, and those smug looks of theirs quickly returned to their faces.

"So ..." Brad began while smiling, "the money and everything is still there ... but no purse. This might not prove for sure that you're not a robber, but it _does _prove that you're a liar! And that's just as bad!"

"Oh, I just thought of another nickname for her, then!" Sean exclaimed in delight. He paused to relish the moment, and Beckett could just sense what was coming. "Liar-Butt!"

Beckett closed her eyes in an attempt to help keep herself calm, but it was made a challenge to do so when Sean broke out into a chant of "Liar-Butt! Liar-Butt! Liar-Butt!" She chose to finally channel her anger through slamming the safe door shut.

_I should get a medal for this! _she thought resentfully. "Call me whatever you want, but I'm going to take a shower! Don't think this changes anything!"

"Pssh, it _doesn't!_" Brad fired back. And with that, he and Sean ran off upstairs.

This left Beckett alone, and she wasted no time in beginning her quest to get clean. She stormed over to the downstairs bathroom, where her first order of business was to search for a bathrobe her size. Fortunately, she found a dark red one that satisfied that desire and she held it carefully between two fingers on her way to the laundry room. Beckett hurriedly stripped off her mucky clothes and placed them, along with a considerable amount of cleaning fluid, into the washer and activated the machine. On her way back, Beckett turned the bathrobe into a shield in front of her underwear-clad body. Her undergarments had luckily avoided getting too dirty, but even if they had, going commando around Brad and Sean was a complete non-option.

Back in the bathroom, after the door had been locked, Beckett was able to locate a blow-drier which she left on the sink counter beside her phone before filling the sink with soapy water. Beckett stripped off her underwear and placed them in the sink to soak out what gunk _had _gotten on them. At long last, it was time for her to step in the shower, a task which she took immense relief in. Beckett let herself get lost in the relaxing feel of the warm downpour and the sound of the water hitting the shower floor. As she stood there, the various foods washing off of her and swirling down into the drain, Beckett realized she'd need to tell Castle not to go blabbing about today to anyone else Ryan, Esposito or Lanie.

She scrubbed away at her skin until not only when it started to feel raw, but also when the water began to turn cold. Beckett deemed herself squeaky clean at that point, turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. The bathroom was shrouded in a curtain of steam, a curtain which Beckett pushed through to get to the mirror. She wrapped a towel around herself and plucked her underwear out of the sink. All traces of goop had vanished from them, so Beckett plugged in the blow-drier and went to work drying those first.

It took a few minutes, but soon enough, the underwear was both clean and dry again. Beckett quickly used the towel to dry herself off before slipping her undergarments back on. Next, she took a quick moment to check and see if any calls had come in while she'd been washing off. Beckett was thankful to see no missed calls or voicemail.

Before stepping into the shower, Beckett had placed the bathrobe she had been using on one of the hooks hanging on the back of the door, and when she turned to reclaim it, she froze. Not because the hook was empty, but because the hook now contained something _different. _Upon first glance, Beckett could tell that it was most definitely a bathrobe, but she could also tell that it was a few sizes smaller than the one she'd left in that spot. And unlike the dark red color of the first, this bathrobe was bright orange, the kind of orange Beckett could compare to a prison jumpsuit.

"No, they couldn't have ..." Beckett breathed to herself as she scurried to the door and pushed down on the handle.

She expected it not to budge, but instead, the handle went down all the way and allowed Beckett to crack the door open.

"Criminals in the making," Beckett growled.

So Brad and Sean had somehow picked the lock, nabbed the bathrobe Beckett had picked out and replaced it with one of their own. Given how this bathrobe looked so much smaller than the other, it wasn't hard to see the purpose behind their little switch, though.

For the next few minutes, Beckett just stood staring in contemplative silence at the orange bathrobe. At first, she considered refusing to go along and just walk around in her underwear until her clothes were ready, but that was even more stupid than wearing nothing at all, she concluded. Brad and Sean had already gotten one too many looks at Beckett's underwear anyway, so she could suck it up and still be authoritative in a small orange bathrobe.

Just _how _small it was Beckett discovered after she put it on. The sleeves reached past her elbows by less than an inch and only barely reached past her thighs, leaving a good amount of her legs out in the open. Running too fast or bending over too far would be all it took for her underwear bottoms to be back out where Brad and Sean could see. On the left shoulder of the bathrobe, though, were five letters written in black: 00001. It only furthered the comparison to a prison jumpsuit, the "slutty" kind of prison jumpsuit if she was being truthful. Beckett sighed at her appearance, but got even more upset when she turned around and noticed something the kids had done to the back.

In the area right over Beckett's butt were two words written in black permanent marker, and she honestly wasn't all too surprised at what they said: "STUPID BUTT."

"Screw any Mob threats," Beckett snarled, clenching her hands into fists, "these kids now need protection from _me!_"

She wrenched the bathroom door back the rest of the way, not even bothering to dry her hair. But before she blindly stepped out into the hallway, Beckett hung back a moment in case any buckets placed overhead released anything unpleasant. None came, so Beckett loosened her shoulders and angrily exited the bathroom.

While there may not have been anything like pre-placed buckets awaiting her, Beckett soon discovered that clearly wasn't the extent of Brad and Sean's devious prank-plotting abilities. She had taken four steps down the hallway and then, suddenly, her bare feet touched on part of the hardwood floor that was much more slippery than the rest.

"WHOA! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAA!"

The instant Beckett came into contact with the slippery floor, she was sent forward involuntarily down the remainder of the hallway, feet still planted firmly on the floor. The only thing Beckett was doing voluntarily was flailing her arms wildly at her sides, trying and failing to stop her progress.

She didn't stop until her legs were knocked out from underneath her by the back of the living room couch. Given her momentum by that point, Beckett was sent toppling over so that her top half flopped and crashed down into the cushions of the couch, which left her bottom half hanging over the back and her butt sticking up in the air. From the light breeze down below, Beckett could surmise that the bottom of the bathrobe had ridden up enough to expose her underwear yet again.

"Gee, thanks for all the great photos, Stupid-Butt!" Sean's voice popped up from somewhere behind Beckett amidst the small clicks of camera phones.

Beckett got up in a see-saw motion and whirled around to see Brad and Sean, who obviously had been waiting in the living room for her "arrival." "Those will be the LAST photos you take today!" she declared.

"We'll see about that!" Brad shouted.

Forgoing all sense of instinct or logic, Beckett gave in to her white-hot anger and started to chase after the two boys who had caused her so much grief over the past few hours.

* * *

**Either one or two chapters left now. I'll decide on that for sure once I start writing Chapter 6.**


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